I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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