Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
