We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
