He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
