The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
