This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
