I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
