she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
