so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
