"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
