So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hippo gnu deer
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
