A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
