This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
