Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
