oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
im on a boat
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