Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
