Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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