I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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