i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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