Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Everyone says I win the strip club
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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