Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
