Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
