i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
