end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
