Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This house was built for laser tag.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
