I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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