she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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