she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
