I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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