I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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