the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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