He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
