Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
