clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
