Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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