As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
