Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
