she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
