Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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