I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
