Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
