I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
