I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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