Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
