Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
