You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
