she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
