Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
