You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
