As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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